"So get rid of your feelings of hatred [anger/ resentment]. Don't just pretend to be good! Be done with dishonesty."1 Also, "If you are angry [resentful], don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly; for when you are angry, you give a mighty foothold to the Devil."2
A Daily Encounter reader asks, "How do you find release from resentment?"
First, admit exactly how you feel. Realize, too, that feelings are amoral; that is in and of themselves they are neither right nor wrong, they just are. It’s what we do with them (and the cause of them) that is either right or wrong—creative or destructive.
Second, also realize that resentment is often a result of jealousy and anger. For instance, a jealous person is very often angry at either the person who received a promotion or some gift, recognition, or benefit he or she felt they were more deserving of and angry at the one who did the giving or gave the promotion.
Third, recognize that jealousy is often a byproduct of one’s insecurity and poor self-image. (We will address this issue in tomorrow’s Daily Encounter).
Fourth, to resolve resentment it is imperative that one resolves his or her anger. For help to do this read, “Taming Your Anger” at: http://tinyurl.com/b439f
Finally, one needs to fully forgive the one they feel has hurt them—whether the hurt is justified or not (often it isn’t). However, without resolving one’s hurt and anger, it is virtually impossible to forgive the one you feel has hurt you. After the hurt and anger are resolved, forgiveness becomes a simple choice—we either choose to forgive or choose to hang on to our hurt, anger and resentment.
As Loren Fischer so wisely said, "The difference between holding on to a hurt [resentment] or releasing it with forgiveness is the difference between laying your head at night on a pillow filled with thorns or a pillow filled with rose petals." And as another put it, “Failing to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, whenever I am feeling resentful, please help me to see the causes behind my resentment—be it insecurity, jealousy, hurt and/or anger—and find the help I need to deal with and resolve these issues so I will always freely forgive all who have hurt me as You have freely forgiven me for all of my sins. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’s name, amen.”
For further help read “Forgiveness: The Power That Heals” at: http://tinyurl.com/3bw3q3 and for resolving anger read, “Taming Your Anger” at: http://tinyurl.com/b439f.
1. 1 Peter 2:1 (TLB).
2. Ephesians 4:26-27 (TLB).