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Making Your House a Home

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First, the man is only head under God to whom he is directly responsible for the well-being of his family. Next, he is to be, not a controlling or domineering person, but perhaps more than anything else, the emotional and spiritual leaderóthe one upon whom the wife and children can depend. He needs to be emotionally present and spiritually involved in the life of his family. He is to model what it means to be a true man of God. This is one of the greatest needs in todayís homes.

A fatherís involvement is critical because he also has a major role in shaping his childrenís self-concept and sexual identity. While a daughter identifies with her mother as a woman, it is the fatherís love, approval, and acceptance of her that confirms her womanhood and femininity. The same principle applies to sons. If the father fails to fulfill this God-given role, the self-concept and sexual identity of both girls and boys is damaged.

As a husband, the man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church.6 This means he is to give his life for her. Thatís what it means to be head of the home.

A father plays a major role in
shaping his children's self-
concept and sexual identity.

The role of the woman. As wife and mother, the woman also has a vital role to play in the making of a home and in helping to meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the children. As Solomon stated, it takes a wise woman to build a home.7 Paul wrote to Titus to instruct the older women "to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands."8

Does this mean that women shouldnít work outside the home? I donít believe so. In Biblical times women didnít work outside the home and were to be productive and not become busy-bodies in other people's affairs. Even a casual reading of Proverbs 31 will show that God's design for a woman is to be industrious, creative and fulfilled. The guiding principle for whether either parent works outside the home is whether or not the childrenís needs are being met. Whether the woman works outside the home or not, she (as well as her husband) is to care for her family, help in the training of her children, and to give moral and emotional support and love to her husband.

The role of children.While parents are responsible for the provision for and development of their children, and fathers are not to provoke their children to anger, the responsibility of children is to "obey their parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."9

No matter what a childís background is, once he becomes an adult, he is totally responsible for his life. When parents teach children personal responsibility, both are helped. While they can never give their children too much unconditional love, parents can give them too many things and do too much for them. Teaching children to make their own decisions and do things for themselves trains them to become decisive, self-reliable, responsible and interdependent adults.

In a capsule, this is Godís plan for the home. When we follow his order, our homes have a much greater chance of success. When we go against his plan, we hurt ourselves and our children and weaken our nation. We simply cannot improve on Godís plan. The wisest thing to do is to get in on it.

1. Genesis 2:24, NIV.     2. I Corinthians 11:11-12.    3. I Peter 3:7.    4. 1 Timothy 5:8 and Proverbs 22:6.    5. 1 Corinthians 11:13.    6. Ephesians 5:25.    7. Proverbs 14:1.    8. Titus 2:4-5. 9. Colossians 3:20-21.

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All articles on this website are written by
Richard (Dick) Innes unless otherwise stated.