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Well I remember the night I experienced unusual chest pains. I was afraid to go to sleep for fear I mightn\'t wake up the next morning.

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I was not only worried about myself but also my family. I had two young children at the time and wondered how they would manage without me. I realized, too, how badly I wanted to complete some unfinished goals. I was scared.

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Finally, I fell to sleep exhausted. The next morning I woke up feeling fine—much to my relief. The doctor\'s verdict? A dose of indigestion.

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Not so fortunate was a close friend, Graham, who took ill suddenly and was rushed to hospital. Tests revealed cancer of the liver. The doctors did all they could but it was too late. Graham had always been active and achievement oriented, so the news was devastating. In the ensuing weeks I watched him struggle with and work through an entire gamut of emotions such as the following:

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Shock. Initially there was the shock of his plight. Understandably it came as a terrible shock to Graham and his family when they realized the seriousness of his condition.

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Fear. After the initial shock came fear—fear of leaving his wife and four children behind. How would they manage? Who would take care of them? Plus, there was the fear of facing the unknown, of walking a road not traveled before.

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Grief. Then there was a stage of intense grief and sadness over leaving loved ones, and the terrible loss of his own life. At times his grief was profound. It helped to cry.

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Depression. Mingled throughout were a few friends who tried to bring hope for healing. Graham pored over the books they gave him and read about other people\'s stories—all promising a sure cure. But as the reality of his situation hit home, he experienced deep disappointment and depression and had to work through these feelings as well.

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My time is short. I want people
to talk meaningfully to me,
about our feelings and about
life. Nothing else matters now.\"

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Anger. At times there were feelings of anger and resentment—anger at God and life because he was being snatched away in his prime.

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At one point I asked Graham, \"What is it like to be only forty-four and in your situation?\"

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After contemplating silently, he finally answered, \"I feel cheated. I had so much more I wanted to do with my life and now it won\'t get done. I feel angry, frustrated, scared….\"

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Remorse. There were also feelings of remorse. He talked about how busy he had always been and how he hadn\'t spent enough time with his family. Finally he said, \"As I look at my life, I can\'t help but wonder what have I done that has been really worthwhile.\"

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These various stages of emotions and introspection were normal. They came and went, each overlapping the other.

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Frustration. Through it all people came and went, too. Some talked endlessly without saying anything meaningful as a cover for their own insecurity in the face of death. Graham found this very distressing. Later he said to me, \"My time is short. I want people to talk meaningfully to me, about our feelings and about life. Nothing else matters now.\"

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Support. Others came, too. They didn\'t offer advice. They mostly listened and accepted his feelings. They hugged him. Some wept and prayed with him. They helped lighten his load. They were sensitive to his needs and supported him as he worked his way through an unchartered maze of conflicting emotions. They were exactly what he needed and what others in similar situations need.

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Acceptance. True, Graham did all he could to hang onto life, but when he realized he was fighting a losing battle and worked through his conflicting emotions, he came to accept his lot with a deep sense of peace. What helped him to do this more than anything else was his irrepressible faith. In fact, hospital staff were amazed how well he was handling his situation and said that without a strong faith, many in the same condition tend to go to pieces.

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Assurance. Graham felt certain of life beyond death. He believed implicitly in what Jesus Christ, the Son of God, said: \"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.\"¹ With outstretched arms raised heavenward Graham described how he longed to meet God, the Heavenly Father. He was ready to die.

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I had to return home, so the last time I saw Graham we both knew we wouldn\'t see each other again in this life. There would be no more fishing trips. No more family get-togethers. No more laughing and joking together.

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When we said goodbye, I felt overwhelmed with grief and wept unashamedly. Graham, as ill as he was, hugged and comforted me. And when he said, \"Goodbye, my friend. I know where I\'m going. I\'ll see you on the other side,\" there was a genuine note of confidence and assurance in his voice.

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What helped more than anything
else was his irrepressible faith.\"

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Then came the sad news. Graham\'s wife, Jenny, phoned. She told me that the night before Graham died, his body was so weak it flopped like a rag doll\'s, but again he said how much he was longing to meet God. Soon after he slipped quietly into a coma from which he never recovered. The doctor came the next morning, and as he leaned over Graham\'s comatose body to check his pulse, Graham suddenly sat upright in bed, and pushing the doctor aside turned his face heavenward—as if being greeted by someone human eyes couldn\'t see—reached out to who or whatever was there. His lifeless body fell backwards. Graham was gone!

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According to Jenny, a sense of peace like a divine presence filled the entire house. It felt as if an angel had come in persons to take Graham home. Perhaps one did.

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Peace. One thing is certain, Graham had made his peace with God, was ready to die, and was excited about meeting God—something we\'ll all do when our time is up.²

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You can have this same peace by believing that God\'s Son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross to save you from your sins, by confessing your sinfulness to him and asking for his forgiveness, and by inviting Jesus into your heart and life as personal Lord and Savior. When you do this, God will freely forgive you and give you the gift and assurance of eternal life. For help click on the God\'s Invitation link below.

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1. John 11:25, 26, (NIV).
2. See Hebrews 9:27 and Amos 4:12 in the Bible.

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