Editor: Richard (Dick) Innes
Published by: ACTS International
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Vol. 11 – No. 1609 April 18, 2009
Thought for the week: "Whatever you are most devoted to will determine how your life is shaped." – Tod Bolsinger
Once Winston Churchill received an invitation from George Bernard Shaw to one of his opening plays back in the early 1900s. The note read, "Enclosed are two tickets to the performance of a play of mine. Bring a friend—if you have one."
Churchill sent back this reply: "Dear GBS, I thank you very much for the invitation and tickets. Unfortunately, I am engaged on that night, but could I have tickets for the second night?—if there is one."
As a group of amateur climbers scaled part of the Matterhorn near Zermatt, Switzerland, a vicious gust of wind came along at a narrow ledge. The guide quickly shouted, "Get down on your knees! You are safe only on your knees!"
That's good advice for all of us: The ledges of life are narrow, and the winds are strong. Only on our knees, seeking God relentlessly in our prayers, can we find safety and security.
Turning Point Daily Devotional, (9-15-06). Source: PreachingNOW.
A story is told of two friends who were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand, "Today my best friends slapped me in the face."
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from nearly drowning, he wrote on a stone, "Today my best friend saved my life."
His friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
Stephen Felker, "How Often Should I Forgive?"
Cited on eSermons.com
At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, or how many great things we have done. We will be judged by "I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in." Hungry not only for bread—but hungry for love. Naked not only for clothing—but naked of human dignity and respect. Homeless not only for want of a home of bricks—but homeless because of rejection.
Long ago when I was a law professor, I was at a conference and a man I didn't recognize greeted me warmly. He said he wanted to thank me for changing his life.
I was embarrassed as I listened to him tell me he had met me after a speech I had given at his law school. He said he had been discouraged and disheartened about ever becoming a lawyer and that he was ready to quit. But I had counseled him and he had decided to stick it out.
He said he had been looking for me so he could tell me personally that not only had he graduated but had just become the nation's first Mexican-American law school dean.
His decision to seek me out to share the story was a generous and much-appreciated gift I'll never forget. But his description did not ignite my memory, and I felt shallow and ashamed.
Here this fellow was expressing deep gratitude for something I could not recall. I only began to forgive myself when I realized I didn't remember the incident because I engaged in this sort of discussion with students often, and this conversation was not extraordinary for me. That's what teachers are supposed to do: share their knowledge, provide alternative perspectives, and offer encouragement and inspiration.
Teachable moments often arise unannounced and unnoticed. Teachers and parents never know what will be remembered and what will be forgotten. But if we want to have an occasional lasting impact, we have to have faith that at least some of the things we say will really matter. And since we can't always know what those things are, we have to presume that everything we say will matter.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."1
I remember years ago a friend talking about some people being "cursed with the affliction to give advice." At the time it sure sounded strange as I had no idea what he meant. Now I understand.
According to Webster's Dictionary, people "offering ... unwanted [unsolicited] advice or services" are officious. They can also be obnoxious. Unwanted or unsolicited advice can be a put-down and can be a thinly veiled criticism.
I'm not talking about going to a lawyer, an accountant, a car mechanic, or whatever, where we need and ask for professional advice. What I'm talking about is when we share our struggles and feelings with a friend and they have a compulsion to tell us what we should or shouldn't do. They are putting us down in that they assume that they know the answer to our situation and needs better than we know them ourselves.
Other people have a compulsion to tell you simple things like how to shine your shoes ... how to sweep the floor ... and how to do a myriad of other things that are obvious to all, assuming that you aren't as knowledgeable or as smart as they are. They treat adults like a mother treats a small child! As the saying goes, "they come on parent." They also make people angry.
Even when some people want advice in their personal life, it is a much wiser not to give it, but to help them see what their options are and determine their own solutions. As long as I "come on parent" to others, advising them what they should or shouldn't do, it may inflate my weak ego and make me feel important (falsely so), but it keeps others over-dependent on me and immature. It can also play the part of God and the Holy Spirit in other people's lives!
A good counselor doesn't tell people what they should or shouldn't do. He/she helps his/her clients to face reality (to see the truth ... first about themselves and then about the situation they are in) and decide for themselves what they need to do.
What I want from a friend when I am feeling in the pits, is someone to listen to me with their heart, to give me their presence, and accept me as I am—and in so doing communicate to me that they care. On such occasions I don't want or need advice, unsolicited or otherwise.
In other words, I want friends who rejoice with me when I rejoice and weep with me when I weep. If you have such friends, cherish them forever. They are rare jewels.
Suggested prayer, "Thank you God and Jesus that you are friends of sinners such as I. Help me to be such a friend to others. Help me not to give advice but always and in all ways be as Jesus to every life I touch. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
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Books by Dick Innes, Editor of Weekend Encounter You Can't Fly With a Broken Wing How to Mend a Broken Heart I Hate Witnessing—A Handbook for Effective Christian
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