Editor: Richard (Dick) Innes
Published by: ACTS International
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Vol. 11 – No. 3809 September 19, 2009
Thought for the week: Having exchanged Biblical Correctness for Political Correctness, we are in the process (like the frog in the kettle) of slowly but surely self-destructing." – Dick Innes
"I don't think of myself as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good." – Oprah Winfrey
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." – William Jennings Bryan
"You can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you. – Barbara Sher
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." – Mother Teresa
"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have" – Thomas Jefferson
"The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference." – Elie Wiesel
Temptation tries to blind us to other possibilities. A business man driving home from work one day, saw a little league baseball game in progress. He decided to stop and watch. He sat down in the bleachers and asked a kid what the score was. "We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile.
"Really," he responded. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged."
"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face. "Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet."
There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists
tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose
between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.
But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest—in perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?
"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."
As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.
These are powerful words. Authentic apologies can work like a healing ointment on old wounds, dissolve bitter grudges, and repair damaged relationships. They encourage both parties to let go of toxic emotions like anger and guilt and provide a fresh foundation of mutual respect.
But authentic apologies involve much more than words expressing sorrow; they require accountability, remorse, and repentance.
An accountable apology involves a sincere acknowledgment that the apologizer did something wrong. "I'm sorry your feelings were hurt" is a fake apology because it accepts no personal responsibility. A better apology is "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." An even better one reveals an understanding of the wrongdoing from the point of view of the person injured and asks for forgiveness. "I'm sorry I called you a bad mother. I was speaking out of anger, and I ask you to forgive me." Given the natural human tendency to interpret our own words and actions in a manner most favorable to us, it takes great self-awareness to be accountable.
An authentic apology also conveys remorse. It's easier to forgive persons who have hurt us if we believe they have suffered some pain themselves in the form of regret, sorrow, or shame. Self-inflicted guilt is a form of penance or reparation that clears the road to forgiveness.
Accountability and remorse must also be joined by repentance—recognizing something we did was wrong coupled with a credible commitment to not do it again. Without such a commitment, an apology is hollow. Thus, repetitive apologies for the same conduct are meaningless and often offensive. "I'm sorry" is not a Get Out of Jail Free card that lets people off the hook who repeatedly break promises, get drunk, or say cruel things.
It takes character to both give and accept an authentic apology.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
"Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, "Do you want to be made well?"1
A Daily Encounter reader writes, "After many years of counseling and prayer for help, my brother who has been a Christian for many years can't seem to let go of his emotional problems and failures. Is there anything I can say to help him forgive himself? What might be holding him back from finding healing and freedom?"
There may be any of a number of reasons why this man seems to be "stuck" in his situation. One may be that deep down he doesn't want to get well.
According to reports I have read from both a Christian and a secular source, of all the people who go to a counselor or physician saying they want help approximately 25 percent actually don't want to get well. Some of these people like to feel sorry for themselves and get some kind of satisfaction from seeking sympathy. A further 50 percent expect the counselor or physician to heal them. Only 25 percent actually take responsibility for doing what they need to do in order to get well. One physician said that some patients would rather he operate on their body than they operate on or change their lifestyle!
Many of us say that we want to lose weight, too, but do little or nothing about it. What we do is confuse a wish for a want. It's one thing to wish for something, it's another thing to want it.
As Jesus said to the sick person, "Do you want to be made well/whole?"
To be made well/whole, I need to be committed to being made well/whole and accept responsibility for doing whatever I need to do in order to get well. I can pray forever about losing weight, but if I don't watch my diet and get sufficient exercise, it's not going to happen. And if I cling to my grudges and refuse to forgive all who have hurt me, I won't get well either.
True, some ills and miserable circumstances are beyond our control, but there are many that we can do something about ourselves. Yes, pray for wisdom to know what to do, for truth to see what we need to do, for courage to do it, and for God to lead us to the help we need to overcome. When we do our part, we can be sure that God will do his.
The bottom line is do we truly want to be made well/whole—or do we just wish for it?
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to accept responsibility in every adverse situation that comes my way. Besides trusting in you, help me to see what I can and need to do to make healing and wholeness possible. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
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Oprah Winfrey: "Books were my pass to personal freedom. I learned to read at age three, and soon discovered there was a whole world to conquer that went beyond our farm in Mississippi." – Oprah Winfrey
Books:
Books by Dick Innes, Editor of Weekend Encounter You Can't Fly With a Broken Wing How to Mend a Broken Heart I Hate Witnessing—A Handbook for Effective Christian
Communications
Books by Bestseller and Popular Authors: The Miracle of Kindness His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
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Healing, Wholeness & Happiness by Dick Innes
Loving & Understanding People by Dick Innes
I Hate Witnessing by Dick Innes
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