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Why Do I Yell at my Wife?

"If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly; for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil."1

A Daily Encounter reader writes, "I have a problem. I am verbally cruel to my wife and don't understand why. I yell at her a lot and put her down. Please pray for me."

Dear Josh (name changed), thank you for being honest and admitting that you have a problem—this is the first step in overcoming any difficulty. My prayer for you is that you will ask God to help you to see the root cause of your issue and lead you to the help you need to overcome it.

It seems obvious that you have a lot of unresolved anger which undoubtedly has its roots in a stressful or impaired relationship from the past. This is what is being triggered in your relationship with your wife. As today's Scripture lesson teaches us, anger is meant to be resolved as quickly as possible. Unresolved anger doesn't go away. When we deny or bury it, it will come out in one destructive way or another—not only in damaging our relationships but in physical ills as well.

Could you be angry at your mother by any chance? Or angry at another significant woman when you were a child? Or even angry at your father? Only when you deal with and resolve impaired relationships from the past, will you be able to live in harmony with your wife and have peace in your relationships in the present.

I suggest that you see a well-trained Christian counselor—preferably one that specializes in anger management. And always pray and ask God to help you to see the real cause of your problem and help you to resolve that.

For additional help read the article, "Taming Your Anger" on the ACTS website at:

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank You for your Word, the Bible that gives practical advice for every area of living—spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and physically. Please help me always to live in harmony with Your teachings. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."

1. Ephesians 4:26-27 (TLB).


All articles on this website are written by
Richard (Dick) Innes unless otherwise stated.