Love For A Lifetime: Friendship
“...This is my beloved and this is my friend…”1
Martin Luther is widely known as one of the leaders of the Protestant Reformation. After a powerful encounter with God, in which he was nearly struck by lightning, Luther became a priest and monk; taking vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience to God for the rest of his life. We’ve heard much of Martin Luther the theologian, but very little attention is given to Martin Luther the husband. Nevertheless, his wife, Katharina, was an ever-present influence in his life and in his work.
Katharina von Bora was one of a dozen young, runaway nuns rescued by Luther that led to a most unusual friendship and marriage. These nuns had longed to marry and become mothers. Although this was an offense punishable by death, Luther helped them escape and eventually helped them either return to their families or find a husband — all except Katharina. Luther tried repeatedly to find a husband for Katharina, with no success. Being a very bold woman, she went so far as to tell Luther that if he could not find her a husband, she expected him to step up and become her husband! However, Luther had no intention of ever marrying, often saying, “...they will never thrust a wife on me!” Much to everyone's surprise, in 1525, 8 years after leaving the priesthood, the ex-monk Martin married the ex-nun Katharina. What is perhaps most curious is that their marriage did not start with love or attraction, but rather a commitment to the principles of the Bible and service to God. The couple's early years were reportedly awkward, likely because neither had spent much time in the company of the opposite sex during their life in monasteries. Even so, they were known for being brutally honest with each other, poking fun at each other, and doing so as friends. Letters between them often consisted of teasing, but it was evident that, through their years together, the Luther’s built a genuine friendship.
Martin Luther suffered from many illnesses, including severe depression. Katharina, ever at his side, would hold him, pray for him, comfort him, and read scripture to him. Martin often spoke of his wife with tenderness. He wrote, “I am a happy husband and may God continue to send me happiness, from that most gracious woman, my best of wives.” Luther's earlier teachings made marriage out to be a sort of necessary evil to stave off sexual temptation. But, as his loving marital friendship with Katharina grew, his perspective matured. One of my favorite statements Martin Luther made of marriage is, “The greatest gift of grace a man can have is a pious, God-fearing, home loving wife, whom he can trust with all his goods, body, and life itself, as well as having her as the mother of his children.”
“Marriage is about friendship — spending time and doing life together, making memories, being a good listener, growing old and taking care of each other, being honest, having the long view of things, repenting and forgiving can be summed up in one word — friendship”.2 A strong friendship is the foundation of a love for a lifetime!
Suggested Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for the husband/wife you chose to bless me with. I place them and our relationship in your loving hands. Help me love him/her as you love them. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
1. Song of Solomon 5:16 (ESV).
2. “Real Marriage” by Mark and Grace Driscoll, 2012.
Today’s Encounter was written by: Veronica B.
All articles on this website are written by
Richard (Dick) Innes unless otherwise stated.