Editor: Richard (Dick) Innes
Published by: ACTS International
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Vol. 15â€" â€" No. 0713 February 16, 2013
Thought for the week: "A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way." â€" John C. Maxwell
"Our greatest enemies, the ones we must fight most often, are within." â€" Thomas Paine
"The difference in winning and losing is most often ... not quitting."
â€" Walt Disney
“As long as you can see each day as a chance for something new to happen ... you will stay young." â€" Sarah Louise Delany
"We now accept the fact that learning is a lifelong process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn." â€" Peter Drucker
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” â€" Maya Angelou
"Don't ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to move your feet." â€" Unknown
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!"
Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
If you want to make a change in another person's life, the place to begin is with yourself, not with your parents, or your boyfriend or girlfriend, or your professor, or your boss.
All change begins with you.
It's inside out; not outside in.
â€" Sean Covey
KneEmail: "But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified" (1 Corinthians 9:27).
These are powerful words. Authentic apologies can work like a healing ointment on old wounds, dissolve bitter grudges, and repair damaged relationships. They encourage both parties to let go of toxic emotions like anger and guilt and provide a fresh foundation of mutual respect.
But authentic apologies involve much more than words expressing sorrow; they require accountability, remorse, and repentance.
An accountable apology involves a sincere acknowledgment that the apologizer did something wrong. “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt” is a fake apology because it accepts no personal responsibility.
A better apology is “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.” An even better one reveals an understanding of the wrongdoing from the point of view of the person injured and asks for forgiveness. “I’m sorry I called you a bad mother. I was speaking out of anger, and I ask you to forgive me.” Given the natural human tendency to interpret our own words and actions in a manner most favorable to us, it takes great self-awareness to be accountable.
An authentic apology also conveys remorse. It’s easier to forgive persons who have hurt us if we believe they have suffered some pain themselves in the form of regret, sorrow, or shame. Self-inflicted guilt is a form of penance or reparation that clears the road to forgiveness.
Accountability and remorse must also be joined by repentanceâ€" recognizing something we did was wrong coupled with a credible commitment to not do it again. Without such a commitment, an apology is hollow. Thus, repetitive apologies for the same conduct are meaningless and often offensive. “I’m sorry” is not a Get Out of Jail Free card that lets people off the hook who repeatedly break promises, get drunk, or say cruel things.
It takes character to both give and accept an authentic apology.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
"The Lord disciplines those he loves … for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."1
Earl Nightingale told how on one National Secretaries Day he gave his secretary flowers and she remarked how beautiful they were. She also said that she couldn't understand why they didn't have any scent.
He informed her that the flowers came from a hothouse and explained that because flowers raised in this type of environment have everything done for them, they don't have to attract insects to pollinate them. As a result they lose their scent. In the same way fruit raised in a hothouse, because it doesn't need to attract insects to scatter its seeds, doesn't taste as good as fruit grown in its natural environment.
It's similar to the child who wanted to help a butterfly out of its cocoon by putting a slit in it and, in so doing, caused it to die. He didn't realize that the struggle to get out of the cocoon is needed to strengthen the butterfly's wings so that it is able to fly.
When people do too much for us or overprotect us, especially in our early developmental years, they can do serious harm to us. And even in adulthood it's the problems and difficulties we have that strengthen us, build character, give wisdom, understanding, and compassionâ€"if we let them. Note, too, that if we ask God to give us wisdom and guidance, he will, but he won't overprotect us from the things we need to help and make us growâ€"and to teach us wisdom!
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me not to run from my fears, trials, and problems but accept them as opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer, Gratefully in Jesus name, amen."
1. Hebrews 12:6, 10-11 (NIV).
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