"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."1
A Daily Encounter reader from South America writes: "My name is Juan and I am writing for help. I have a 'cannon' within that is destroying my life—it is the cannon of uncontrollable lust. I'm married but am unable to control myself. I have been unfaithful, each time telling myself it's the last time, yet again and again I fall. I've tried all within my will to stop but just can't. I've lost all sense of self-worth and just go through the motions of life. I love God and I miss the sweet fellowship I once used to enjoy. How do I stop from destroying myself and my family? Please help me."
Thank you, Juan, for the courage to admit that you have a problem with lust. This is the first step in the recovery from any problem. Next, while it may be difficult to do, it is important to admit that when lust causes one's life to be out of control, he is a sex addict.
Third, understand that many, if not most, addictions start as a means to avoid facing the pain of some inner unresolved issue. It is the "fruit of a deeper root."
Fourth, I urge you not only to confess your sin to God which you have said that you have done many times, but also to a trusted, safe male friend—one who will never betray your confidence—and keep yourself accountable to him. As God's Word says, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."1
Fifth, I understand that you have already confessed your sexual sins to God, but you also need to earnestly ask God to help you to see if there are any unresolved issues in your life that are driving you to act out in lust and sexual sins. For example, lust that controls us is often a result of repressed love, so you may still unconsciously be looking for the "mother love" you never received as a child. Or you could be unconsciously angry at your mother and taking out your anger on other women. Whatever is the root cause of your problem God knows what it is so I encourage you to ask God to show you what it is.
Sixth, if possible, it could be a great help for you to become a member in a SA (Sex Anonymous) group, just like AA (Alcohol Anonymous), SA is organized to help people to be freed from their addiction.
Seventh, I also strongly encourage you to get some fine Christian counseling to help you discover and resolve the hidden cause or causes of your sex addiction.
Finally, the first thing every day be sure to commit and trust your life and way to God. He can make a much better job of your life than you can. Following is a suggested prayer:
"Again, today, Dear God I commit and trust my life and way to you. Please guide me in the way I need to go, help me to overcome my problem with lust and sexual sins, and become the man of God you want me to be. Also, I am available, please use me today to be 'as Jesus' in some way to every life I have contact with. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."
NOTE: I have quite a few articles on recovery so I suggest you go to http://www.actsweb.org/articles/Recovery.php and read some of these articles. Especially read the article "Lady of the Night" and "Adultery: Caught in the Act," Parts I and II.
1. James 5:16 (NIV).
All articles on this website are written by
Richard (Dick) Innes unless otherwise stated.