Healing Life's Hurts
One of the facts of life is that we are destined to repeat in one form or another those dysfunctions we fail to resolve, or take out our hurt and anger on the ones we love-and then pass on our dysfunctions to our children! The Bible says, "The sins of the fathers are visited to the third and fourth generation."1 This is why it is imperative that, with God's help, we resolve them. The following steps will help.
First, we need to admit that we have been hurt, that we have a problem, and that we need healing.
Second, we need to want healing badly enough to be willing to face our pain rather than bury it. As Jesus, the Master physician, said to a man who had been an invalid for 38 years: "Do you want to get well?"2 It sounds like a silly question but it is really profound. We have to want to get better badly enough to face our hidden or painful hurts. Only those who want to be healed will be. The half-hearted never make it.
Third, it isn't enough to talk about our painful feelings. We need to find a safe place with a trusted friend, counselor, therapy group, or recovery group where we can confidentially experience and express our feelings of hurt, guilt, shame, anger, fear, plus our sins and faults. These are the secrets that comprise our dark side which, unconfessed, keep us bound. As it has been said, "We are as sick as our secrets."
Fourth, when necessary, where we have hurt somebody else, we need to seek their forgiveness and, wherever possible, right the wrong that we have done.
Jennifer came in wearing a million
dollar smile. Her healing had begun.
Fifth, we then need to forgive all who have hurt us. This is part of gaining freedom from the past. Once we have grown strong enough to face our pain, set appropriate boundaries, and develop some safe relationships, we can begin to forgive. But we cannot simply put forgiveness on top of unresolved hurt, grief, or anger. These must first be dealt with and resolved. Then we are ready to forgive.
Sixth, we need to confess our sins and faults to God and ask for and receive his forgiveness. His Word says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."3
Seventh, we need to forgive ourselves, let go of the past, and move on to become the persons God planned for us to be. Once we have faced our pain and hurt and anger and begun to forgive, we can start looking ahead in life.
Eighth, develop a healthy support network with a trusted friend or two. At the very minimum, ask God to give you at least one close friend whom you trust implicitly and with whom you can share your total self-your joys sorrows, victories, and failures-and with whom you can keep accountable.
Finally, we need to consistently seek God's help through prayer, scripture, and Christian fellowship. I don't mean through a magical quick fix but rather through the miracle of God's healing over time through our relationship with Him and members of the body of Christ. In fact, one of the names for God in Hebrew, Yahweh-rophe, literally means "The Lord who heals."
God wants to heal us and has shown us the way. It's in the Bible which says, "Confess your sins and faults to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed."4 Do you want to be healed? Do it God's way and you will be. It may take time but He wants you to become the person He created you to be.
All articles on this website are written by
Richard (Dick) Innes unless otherwise stated.