Anger and Forgiveness
"Don't let the sun go down with you still angryâ€"get over it quickly."1
One of the biggest barriers to forgiving those who have hurt us is our unresolved hurt and anger. More often than not, where there is hurt, there is anger. Both need to be resolved.
Unresolved or buried anger is extremely destructive. This is why the Bible teaches us to resolve it as quickly as possible. Unless we do, it can turn into resentment, bitterness, hostility, and even rage if enough of it is bottled up for long enough. It is destructive to our physical, emotional and spiritual health. It is also very damaging to relationships and can lead to deep depression. Being angry in itself is not sinful. It is how we handle itâ€"or fail to handle itâ€"that is either right or wrong, creative or destructive. No matter what the other person does to me, my anger is always my issue and my responsibility. Nobody makes me angry without my permission.
Anger needs to be directed to its source and felt and expressed (not just talked about) in creative ways. Wherever possible it pays to express these feelings to the one who hurt us remembering always to "speak the truth in love."2 Where this is not appropriate or possible, we can write out our feelings as David often did in the Psalms, read out loud what we have written, and then burn or throw away the copy. We can also express these painful feelings to a trusted friend or counselor. Whatever we do we need to express them creatively and get them off our chest once and for all. This then clears the way for forgiveness. As long as we nurse grudges and "sit" on our anger, we can never genuinely forgive anyone.
As Paul said, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger!" Do not wait or deny it. Express it in healthy ways. Our unresolved feelings will inevitably lead us to act out destructively in one way or another.
Suggested prayer: Dear God, when I feel angry, please help me to express it creatively without blaming others for my reaction, and help me always to speak the truth in love. In the name of Jesus I pray, amen.
1. Ephesians 4:26 (TLB)(NLT).
2. Ephesians 4:15.
Today's Encounter was written by: Crystal B.
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