Daily Encounter: A Week-day Devotional by a staff of ACTS International.

Tuesday, November 1, 2022

"A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again."¹

In relationships we all need healthy boundaries (not barriers/walls) to shut the bad out and let the good in. Boundaries are to help protect ourselves from hurtful people and to stop people using and taking advantage of us. Boundaries also keep us from rescuing irresponsible people. We also need boundaries to keep our own bad in. They keep us from hurting and controlling others.

This is when speaking the truth in love steps in. If someone is abusing or hurting me, I need to let him/her firmly but lovingly know that I will not tolerate their behavior. If they continue acting in hurtful ways, I will need to distance myself from them. However, because I have established clear boundaries and not walls, my door will always be open to them if they wish to reconnect.

Boundaries help strengthen our ability to say "no" when necessary. People who can't say "no" to others have either weak or no boundaries. And people who won't take "no" for an answer are boundary busters who have their own issues to work out.

On the other hand, walls put up insurmountable barriers and shut everybody out. People who build walls around their heart have been hurt in the past and, being afraid of getting hurt again, shut out everybody. You simply can't get close to this type of person. Consequently they have no close relationships and suffer from an inner loneliness and love deprivation. This is a lonely and unhealthy way to live.

Jesus set boundaries against the religious Pharisees and those who tried to get rid of him before his time. He also set boundaries against the money changers and those who abused God's house in the temple in Jerusalem. Meekness is not weakness and we, as Christians, need to set boundaries against abusive people and be sure to respect others' boundaries as well.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to develop healthy boundaries and learn to lovingly say 'no' when needed. Help me never to be a boundary buster who fails to recognize other people's boundaries. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Proverbs 19:19 (NIV).

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