"I liked this article. My brother's family is going through a divorce and it is hard to watch and even harder to know how to be supportive to the entire family. They were married for 26 years and have 4 children. Thank you for sharing this viewpoint."

--Sheryl (USA)
Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:12:21 AM

"I am in an abusive relationship. My husband gets extremely violent when he drinks and blames me when I express how upset I am when he behaves like that. I don't go toe to toe with him, obviously I know I could never win against a man, but it is extremely disappointing when he behaves like that. My boys see this behavior and I am terrified that they too will think it is acceptable behavior even though I use his example as a lesson of how not to be. I work and he is a stay at home dad. My dilemna is that I have slowly come to accept my life because biblically, divorce is wrong- at least that's what been imprinted there. How and what should I do what is best for us?"

--Cynthia (USA)
Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:45:10 AM

"My friend has been physically abused for 10 years and he has also been unfaithful. this abuse has taken place in front of the kids. She is now asking for a divorce. because she is a new Christian, he is telling her that the Bible says she should not divorce him. She really needs some verses to help her with this. Is is ok to divorce under these circumstances? "

--Robyn (USA)
Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:05:48 AM

"my husband and i re still married for 2 years, but it has been difficult because everytime we quarrelled, he threatened me with a divorce, and it was a violent relationship for me, he refused counselling, tells everyone and himself inclusive, that i am the one who caused all the problems, i live with my parents as he wont take care of his children . it has been basically difficult and he wants a divorce, i have decided to give it to him and pray to God for a new direction. i still love him but he doesnt."

--tj (nigeria)
Sat, 29 Aug 2009 14:56:37 PM

""My husband n i have been married for over 4yrs. We have been having some difficulties n about a year ago i had an affair. I didn't think of the consequences but now i'm faced with it. The affair destroyed him so much so that he had an affair a month ago as revenge.I want to salvage our marriage but he is not sure thats want he wants n we have a 6yr old daughter. He is so resentful towards me for my affair that his affair has become non existant. I don't know what to do anymore i just want my family back. Can anyone help me, I don't want a divorce n he is not sure if he wants to forgive me although i have forgiven him.He hurts me emotionally every chance he gets but i don't want to give up on our marriage. I am still in love with my husband. "

--Silva (st,lucia)
Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:20:52 PM

"My husband and I have been married for 7 years and have known each other for 11 years. We were young when we met and I got the impression from him, that I was the "one and only". I told him about my former life and asked him if he had sleept with another woman (as I donated blood to an hospital this was an inportant question). He said no need to worry about that. After the marrige, I found out that it was a lie. I altso was informed by my mother in law, that he had been engaged and that this girl had been visiting them and the rest of the family. He had sleept with her in her familys home. We got wedding greetings from people I did not know and some of them he said that it was family of a former girlfriend but he had not meet them. Just yesterday I found out that that was altso a lie. We have got children, and now I don´t know what to do, I lost faith in him. In other ways he is a good loving husband, but I´m so stressed about another lie, that I have started to think about divorce. What should I do?"

--Anne (Denmark)
Sun, 12 Apr 2009 04:45:03 AM

"After 15 years of marriage my wife has asked for a divorce because of lies that I have told, now and in the past, I have never been an adulterer or verbally/physically abusive. I know that I sinned and I love her very much is there any way that this can be stopped?"

--David (USA)
Sat, 21 Mar 2009 19:55:53 PM

"Wow divorce is something very delicate to say about. I am 36yrs and not married but men who have married and/or divorce approach me for marriage .
I say no. I beleieve that these men loved their wives at first so they married them. secondly people in marrieage should look out for each other and care for one another so that they make sure they both inherit the kingdom of God. Thirdly if there is too much fire then just seperate and pray for unity again. fourthly change your character to please God because by changing, you bring new things in life. like if you dressed badly then dress well, what i mean recall what the person did not like in you then change it please refer to the Bible 1Peter 3:1-6. Main thing is just change yourself first and make youself clean for God to work in You. Finally forgive yourself and then forgive your spouse. Weh you meet on the way just smile and say hello! ;-). You will be able to measure your healing process by the amount of happiness you display when you see them. God bless
Gloria"

--Gloria (Kenya)
Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:42:38 AM

"I have been a violent marriage for 7 years. i always prayed and waited for my husband to change his violent ways toward myself and our children. But, as time went by it was like a roller coaster, some dyas he was ok and some he would erupt. I couldn't live in fear mucg longer...I have left the marriage but am in a dilema whether to file a divorce or not. I have forgiven him but I am so scared to go back. he says he has changed, I had given him a chance but that blew in my face. He hasnt seeked any counselling or such for this matter. but, people around me say it is only right to go back or God cant use me to my full purpose. I am so confused, I want to be happy and safe in life. Not go back and live in fear. What should one in this situation do??

Response from RWI: The Bible also says that "if possible live at peace with all men/women." This is saying that it isn't possible to live in peace with some people. It is foolish to stay in a relationship where there is continual abuse. Unless you both agree to get into counseling and make a commitment to save your marriage, there is almost no hope of saving your non-marriage marriage. It is between you and God as to whether you decide to get divorced or not. By the sounds of things you don't even have a marriage. While you can never change your husband you can and need to change yourself. I would urge you to get into counseling and work on your own growth because there are reasons in you why you were attracted to this man in the first place. The fact is we are as sick or as healthy as the people we are attracted to -- especially romantically. Only healthy people can have healthy relationships."

--Nisha (Australia)
Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:25:38 PM

"I have been married for 6 yrs. As soon as I was pregnant with our 2nd child, I noticed my husband drinking, staying out all night and disrespecting our family life. Recently, I have found evidence and even been told of his infidelities and I am 8 mos pregnant with our 3rd child. As a christian woman and mother, I am at a loss as to what to do. I have confronted him about such issues and of course he denies all. I have prayed endlessly about our marriage for years and almost believe my finding out is a sign to leave him. How much is a Christian woman to take before enough is enough?

Response from RWi: Only you can decide what is the right thing for you to do. However, if this were my marriage partner acting like this, I would make it very clear that I will not tolerate this behavior and unless he/she gets into recovery immediately and resolves this behavior I would have to separate myself from him/her. I would certainly pray that God would show me what the right thing is to do and to give me the courage to do it. I would also get into counseling myself to see areas where I need to grow and for support to help me work through and resolve my marriage situation. "

--Sarah (us)
Tue, 23 Dec 2008 09:01:06 AM

"I just been to a wedding. The night before the groom said he don't want to marry the female, he don't want to spend the rest of his life with her he wanted to cancel the wedding the night before and the morning before but every but he was inform that it was too late he have to go through with it. Around a month and a half before someone warned him that that was not the one God intended for him and if he go through with it, it was going to ruin his life. remember at the last minute he was compelled that it was too late and he had to marry her. Is this marriage legitimate and do you believe in divorce in this situation. please email me with an answer.

Response from RWI: Had I been this bride-to-be and was told this even an hour before the wedding, I would have refused to marry this man. And had I gone through with the wedding I would now have it annulled immediately."

--sarita (Antigua)
Tue, 23 Dec 2008 07:33:55 AM

"i am in interracial marriage we have two sons 13 and 15. i am 11yrs older than my husband. the breakdown started early...we blamed the adversary for everything...husband refuses counsel has no respect for church i am isolated w/o friends... very devoted to the Lord following His Word daily... prayer is constant.i am at my end... want God's way out of this contract. Husband is a controlling
type and very angry. Sons and i live in fear. i do not work out of the house,sons are home schooled,i am tired, want a new life... i believe husband suffers from a sort of mental illness,like his father ... if i had only known the Lord... (better).what am i to do? mental abuse may not be physically visible to the trained eye but it is there.

Response from RWI: If your husband is abusive either emotionally, spiritually or physically, it is very important that you exercise tough love and let him know that unless he gets proper counseling help to overcome his behavior, that you will need to separate yourself and the boys from him. It is also very important that you set up and maintain these healthy barriers. I also suggest that you see counseling for yourself to know how to best handle this situation for yourself and your sons. If you live in North America call the Narramore Christian Foundation at 1-800-477-5893 and press "1" for Mary and ask her if she can give you the name of a fine Christian counselor in your area. Also ... You can get free lay counseling by calling 714-New-Hope (714-639-4673) which is a service of the Crystal Cathedral in Southern California. Or you can receive live counseling online at http://www.newhopenow.org/counseling/liveperson.html. Daily pray and ask God to guide you on the path of truth so you will know the way that you should go.
"

--Ketziah (USA)
Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:12:48 AM

"How do I choose between my husband and my son? My son is not my husbands. This is my second marriage and was not a Christian when I divorced the first man (because of abuse). My son will be 18 soon and can't live in the house with my husband because my husband is not a nice person to him. I am struggling with this just because I don't want to step out of my Christian beliefs and go against God.

Response from RWI. Your situation is very sad but as your son is about to turn 18, it is imperative that you let go any control of him -- especially emotionally. You can assure him that you will always love him regardless of what he decides to do, but it is imperative that he makes his own decisions regarding his future. As long as you are married, your husband comes before your son. If he is abusing your son, then this is a different matter. If so, you need to get into counseling to help you to work through and resolve this issue. I would suggest that you get into counseling anyhow to help you work through this difficult situation. And always pray that God will lead you on the pathway of truth."

--Sandi (United States)
Mon, 08 Dec 2008 10:26:54 AM

"First,remember that God loves us. He does not want us to suffer EVER. If you truly have done all that you can do, and your partner has not responded, then you have to give them up to God. Sure, by your example you can help someone else find their way to God, but when you are beaten down, and nothing you do, no amount of prayer or counseling helps, it's time to realize that your choice is not what God had planned for you or your partner. There are many ways to be unfaithful to a marriage, not just sexually, and sexual infidelity in Jesus' time was punishable by death, not divorce .... You should try everything in your power to make a marriage work, but if it isn't and it is causing you anger, or resentment or making you unhealthy, then it is interfering with YOUR relationship with God, and that is a far greater sin than divorcing. Most people who oppose divorce are actually just secretly worried that if they support another person's decision to divorce, they might have to examine their own relationship. If you are running from the person you're married to in any way, even by throwing yourself into work or church activities, you aren't married, you're just living together, and if you're living with someone who is hurting you, you are hurting them by allowing them to continue to behave in a harmful way. It is scary getting divorced, you feel like you're a failure, you feel like maybe you will never have another relationship. But, once you have cleared the smoke from your eyes, and you have taken a deep breath of fresh air, you will see that in time God heals all hurts, even the hurts of divorce. But, if you deny Him the opportunity to heal you, then you deny Him. In time, you may even begin to forgive yourself and your partner for all the hurt, but if you stay together, you just keep hurting, and that isn't serving God or anyone else. If you have children, all they ever get to see is what it's like to be in a bad relationship, and they will never learn that it isn't ok to hurt others and they will never learn how to have a good relationship that is healthy for them and their partner. The best thing about GRACE is that you get to make mistakes, and you get to be forgiven for them. God doesn't hold anything against us, unless we hold it against ourselves. "

--Teresa (United States)
Tue, 07 Oct 2008 22:27:25 PM

" I personally think that marriage is taken too lightly from the beginning. All too often people do not seek Godly Council prior to marriage. I believe God can and does bless marriage. I also feel like if there is no physical abuse or adultry that we are bound by a covenant with God to stay in that marriage. I also feel like a Godly man or woman should do everything in their ability to be who God has called them to be as an individual. Marriage is for the most part, very hard. Divorce is not an Easy out. Divorce is not an unpardonable sin, however; the consequences of this sin can last for many years and beyond more than one generation. I think we should remember God is our father and he DOES hear the cry of his children. I also think hypocracy runs rampant in alot of marriages. We live in a fallen world and we should ALL seek God's face on our knees with humble hearts. We should also pray for those in troubled marriages. The bible is very clear that arguments and fights come from selfish desires. Also, if you can bear to stay with a partner who is not very Godly, remember David's wife Abigail. She was married to a treacherous man Nabal. God blessed her for her obedience and she later became one of David's wives. Now, I don't think we should distort that passage @ all (found in 1stSamuel chapter 25) But we can clearly see, God does provide for those who are faithful. Abigail didnt have to divorce her wicked husband.

We should have our priorities straight:
1. God
2. Family
3. Everything else!

God bless and remember, when someone strikes you, misuses you are harms you, if you are one of God's children, they are doing this to God, not just YOU. Don't make any hastey decisions..but do place it in God's hands and step out in faith.
God bless you all.
Love in Christ
Carmen"

--carmen (United States of America)
Wed, 01 Oct 2008 07:46:17 AM

""Issues of marriage vis-a-vis divorce (in christiandom) are of utmost importance to our peaceful coexistence as a family and need nothing short of the inventors prescepts. "Gal. 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Marriages that are contracted on falsehood & lustful desires would definitely hit the rock. The scriptures says "2 Cor. 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with
unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?" "Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" The essence of these few references is to acquaint readers with provisions of God as regards marital matters. From the initial stage of your relationships, it must be well understood what God requires of a believer going into marriage.
Now for those who have found themselves in this urgly situation, the onus is on you to genuinely call on God for intervention. Read the story in Jn. 2:1-10 When the wine (which represents happiness) finished, Jesus was called upon to intervene, and he provided a better wine that restored joy and happiness into that occassion. If the couple involved are genuine believer indeed, or one of them, let him/her call on God, and He will restore lasting joy and happiness into your homes. Jesus said "Jn. 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." However, where forgiveness and reconciliation seems impossible, and the couple are at each others throat, let the couple stay apart unmarried. Who knows, the Lord could miraculously restore them later on. He is the best judge.



"

--Olorunniyi (Nigeria)
Wed, 02 Jul 2008 08:18:01 AM

"for those thinking about divorce should try to stay in the marriage if its endangering their lives because the wife or husband that is in the message could witness to their partner and they might be the anointed person to witness to their partner."

--kacie (united states)
Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:03:04 AM

" I am not sure how I came to this page. But I am Thankful. Hope all of you find true happiness in your relationships. I am struggling in mine. I am so lost at this time in my life. After reading these comments I know now why. I am going to turn to My Father . Thank you. Pray for the girl here who just wants to live again. Trying to find trust. I am going to turn this all over to God (my father). Thank you."

--Roberta (usa)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:39:11 PM

"I think people who are unhappy do not have to remain "stuck" in a relationship where there is no resolution. I believe that God would want people to be happy. In the old testament men had many wives and concubines..That was man's choice. So should it be his/her choice to dissolve an unhappy relationship. Free will?"

--Sarah (Canada)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:12:13 PM

"God did not intend for His people to endure the hardship of abuse. There is nowhere in the bible stating that one is to stay in a abusive relationship as well He also gave us knowledge to know when enough is enough."

--Martha (United States)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:52:55 PM

"As is evident by all the comments and pain displayed this is a very important subject in the lives of Christians. To the lady that said she would never go to church: don't let the actions of a stupid man cause you to lose fellowship with sweet loving Christians that will help you in times of sorrow and stand by you when you are sick or injured or hurting. Remember the elders had Jesus crusified, so a title doesn't a saint make. God Bless you."

--victor (Ukraine)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:02:20 PM

"Pastor Rhnard Bonke takes the "prosperity gospel" to Nigeeria, and other places.
God's "prosperity" is knowing Jesus as your perrsonal saviour, as anone who does not know Him in this way is spiritualy poor; in addition to this, thousands of previously relitivly poor people have been relesed from their abject povity by the gospel through education, and in their personal lives. These last people were previously bound by traditons to enforced povity due to no access to education... until the Lord released them, this is also true for their children."

--Quentin (England)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 11:13:33 AM

"I went through a divorce in 1997. I was brought up to believe that a marriage was forever. "if you made your bed, you laid in it". It took a lot of convincing from my family to get me to file for divorce as I was in a very abusive relationship. I believe now that if I would have stayed with my ex-husband I would have been dead by now. I never cheated or even thought about another man during the seven years we were married. I have tried dating since our divorce but I have found that I can not let a man that close to my heart. Once a man wants to take the relationship past the friends level(or casual) I push away because I feel I can't trust him any more. (I don't think I will ever trust another man enough to live with one again and I know that there are nice men out there. Can you please pray for me? I have been divorced since 1997. I asked the judge for leniency for my ex when we went to court for the domestic violence charges because I loved my ex and I asked the judge to make him get anger management. I also asked the judge for a never ending protection order because my ex told me if I left him he would hunt me down and put a shot gun to my head and pull the trigger and I don't doubt that he has the capablitity of doing it. He has a violent temper. Thanks again. Jane"

--Jane (united states)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 11:10:57 AM

"I was really trilled by your incisive teaching on the divorce issue;though not yet finished and i hope to follow up on the daily teaching on the matter.I think its very important for people to know that even though we are Christians,sometimes the unwillingness of one party to be pen to reason will make it practically impossible for the other spouse to continue in the marriage.You cannot continue to push thing against someones will or you may land yourself in a greater trouble,because the other individual will believe that you are just being in their way instead of helping them.
As believer we must not be jugdemental and must see others irrespective of our personal opinion from the eyes of the lord and His word."

--Michael (nigeria)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 10:51:47 AM

"32 years ago I married what I thought was a fine upstanding Iowa farmer,but boy was I wrong! Although he was an elder in his Presbyterian Church, he used his church attendance to persecute me in every way. He would even tell me about going to Minnesota to have oral sex with prostitutes! I have been married now for 30 years to a different man who is kinder, better-educated, and non-church attending who believes that marriage is for keeps! I will never set foot in a church again!"

--Patricia Ress (USA)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:58:13 AM

"Please tell DJ that her husband is the one bound for hell and not the daughter. Evidently he belives that your sin or wrongs makes you a candidate for hell. This is likely evidence that the husband is not a born again believer. The only thing that allows you to go to hell is your rejection of the saving grace of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. The daughter has had sex with two different men--the husband and the old boyfriend, but that will not send her to hell IF she has accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as her Savior and Lord. I would closely question DJ's husband--the father of the new bride---to see if he has trusted the Lord Jesus for his salvation or if he is trusting in his own works. The girl made a mistake so let her go and find the right man that God has for her. It's not her current husband and it's very likely not the old boyfriend. So go young woman and start a new life and look into the future with you Savior Jesus. (PS: Have you ever thought about a PG test to verify your fears or calm them?)"

--victor (ukraine)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:55:22 AM

"Amazing! I have written a book on my story using this same scripture and saying much the same.
I have since found that my story, though not a very pretty one, is more common than I have ever imagined.
I was a minister's daughter. I had done every- thing by the "book" that was to ensure me a happy marriage and a Christian home.
Worse, I was married to a minister who turned out to be abusive in every possible way. I was too ashamed to tell anyone. I remained with him for 34 years because I did not think I had a scriptural basis to leave him unless he committed adultary.
It wasn't until I found out he had several affairs during those years (I was struggling to maintain the marriage and holding out for a miracle that never came), that I began to search the scriptures and found the truth and courage to leave him.
From the beginning of the abuse (which began the first month of our marriage I begged him to go to a couselor with me. He refused saying "he WAS the couselor!"
I begged God everyone of those years to change me into what my husband wanted me to be so that I could please him. I tried to change myself into that person. In fact, I had changed so much that after I left him, I hardly recognised the person I had become! As one lady has written, when a person chooses to not listen or heed God's Word, there is no one else who is going to be able to make him see the truth!
If a woman or a man is abusive to their partner, you can bet that he is sinning, cheating, and hipocriting in other areas of his life.
I had done such a good job of covering up, making excuses and devising "white lies" to explain black eyes, broken bones and horrible bruises,when I left him, there were very few people in our circle of friends and collegues who believed me! I was the one who was judged and reproached. He was able to continue his charade. He is chairman of an international Christian Fellowship and spends most of his time traveling all over the world promoting a Gospel he never lived himself!
He took everyting in our divorce because I had no funds or will to oppose him. There are literally thousands of people who think he is a "Man of God", but his three older children and I know the truth!
Because he left me penniless and because of health problems, I have had to start all over from scratch three times. I live in a mobile home and barely have my needs met but I when I arise in the morning and I lay my head to rest at night, I have God's abiding peace in my heart and in my home!
Yes, divorce is an emotional train wreck but trying to serve God while walking in physical and emotional mine field is much worse. It will litterally destroy your soul!






"

--Susan (US)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:49:36 AM

"I agree most Christians going through divorce hate divorce as much as God hates divorce. Almost all Christian marriage counselors are quick to remind those going through marital problems "God hates divorce". Very few remind us God "...gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and send her away because of all her adulteries." (Jeremiah 3:8) Many years ago as a born again Christian, I made an unwise choice of falling in love with a divorced and unsaved mother of a small child. I was a naive rescuer who took too lightly the Scripture verse about being "unequally yoked to an unbeliever" (II Cor. 6:14) It is not just a good suggestion, it is a command we should obey or pay the consequences, which I did. Before we were married, she said she could never go through another divorce, so I felt secure in the relationship. Within 6 months of our marriage, my wife was unfaithful and left before our first anniversary. I tried everything I could to win her back over the next two years, but she said: "If I can go through one divorce, I can get through another." There is nothing more depressing and devastating than to put your all into something and still see it disintegrate. I drank heavily for two years to drown my sorrows and then decided to get on with my life. Praise the Lord, He lead me to a vey godly and virtuous Christian woman and we were married within a year with the blessing of our church. We will be celebrating our 25th year aniversary in a few months and we have two wonderful adult children. There is Biblical ground for divorce, it is adultery. But, I think evey effort should be put into forgiveness and reconciliation if it is the Lord's will, especially if there are children involved. "...God has called us to live in peace" (I Corth. 7:15b) I suggest all those struggling with marital issues read all of I Corinthians 7. I still grieve over the break-up of my first marriage, but I realize that it was the result of my own cavalier regard of and disobedience to God's Word. The choices we make lead to either God's blessing or our own demise. Choose wisely. "

--Jim (USA)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:44:17 AM

"Times have changed over the years, ideas and ideals according to mankind. The Word of God has not moved right or left. God does hate sin in any form. Devorce only shows the conclusion of sin of those involved. Even in the He said, She said situations, knowing that He did and She did are reactions to the central point, sin aginst God Himself. He may have or She may have it is that sin has been alowed into the marrage without forgiveness and forgiving. Often a change needs to be done yet it is not on just one side. I will never say there is a point and time they should no longer stay together for life indangerment. At the same time Mark 10 reminds the compounding sin against Him of divorcement should one remarry. Sin not taken care of only compounds more and more.
Conclude with this, I have no problem with those who devorce if they follow the Biblical way. Matthew, Mark, Luke, 1 Corinthians put the truth of God's will of divorce. Salvation is never lost only certian opertunities in this world. Never give up as on divorced on God's work He has given you."

--Rev. Michael (USA)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:40:46 AM

"SAdly, I see much condemnation from several over divorce. I married young to an abusive man. I did everything humanely possible to make it work. I truly beleive strongly in marriage. There were affairs as well as mental, verbal, emotional and even physical abuse. He refused counseling. Then one night he went balistic and I know if God had not protected me, I would be dead today. He was arrested and removed from the home. But even then it was so threatening, I moved 1000 miles away. But because my belief in marriage is strong and for the sake of my children, I went back and tried again. He had not changed. God delievered me out of Egypt and I went back.(before the original separation, there 22 years) Sometimes, divorce is the only option. God does give a way out for those who are victims of infidelity. I have forgiven my ex, for my sake. But there can be no reconcilation because he does not see that he has done wrong.
BE VERY CAREFUL NOT TO CONDEMN ---there have many many prayers that went out on our behalf. But remember, God is in control, and He can change the heart of man, but God also has given man free will..........in his case, my husband chose NOT to listen to God. God has since blessed me with a wonderful man who loves me and treats me like royality!"

--Rebecca (USA)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 08:52:12 AM

"I believe God is the author of marriage institution because HE established it immediately after creation that its not good that man should be alone, so if ones marriage is failing while not take it to the author of the marriage to help you out? Its only God that has the power to change anybody if we allow God to truely be the Master of our life. We christian too might have divorce God along our path as christian, so if its hurts for humans to divorce howmuch more if we divorce our creator who wish to follewship with us on daily basis. If your marriage is failing you need to first asked yourself where you have failed in your relationship with God first then with your wife or husbard. Then go back and make restitution. God Bless."

--Oluseye A Adenusi (USA)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 08:23:36 AM

"Hi _ i SOO agree with Jackie _ i only wish i had this advice years ago _ i would still be married _ For DJ > Let God deal with the young ones _ and your husband so not to have your Spitit taken down _ May God bless you DJ _ Praise Our Lord _ for HIs loving Goodness and Kindness _ FOREVER ~~~ m"

--muriel (Canada)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 07:22:15 AM

"Divorce is caused because nobody cares enough to look deeper. Men cry silently. They show their grief by laughing at a subject of conversation by their partner. It's a Matcho way of showing they feel hurt as well. Women cry openly to their husband but men are not supposed to cry! They do very deeply sob when they are alone. Divorce can be avoided if you can be honest to eachother. Why most marriage succeed because they talk things over. Don't be alone in this world. Correct your ways and make an effort to live in harmony. "

--Kuttan Nair (UK)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 07:11:30 AM

"Christians divorce is really a very dicey issue in my opionion. In the bible GOD told us that he hates divorce, equally that even if one divorces ones spouse they should stay unmarried. Also the bible also mention that one can only remarry only if ones spouse has pass on. Now the question or problem is what can be done if the marriage is not working out,and the couple are not happy or if one is in an abusive relationship. My opinion is that before any decision is taken on whether to go for divorce, separation or not, one must seek the face of God for direction. Becos whathever we decide to do we would be answerable to GOD alone that is why we should seek his direction if we say that we are christians. Thanks. I pray for GOD'S guidiance for everyone going through a divorce or a difficult relationship right now, God will see you through this trail and you shall come out victorious and your life will be a testimony to many. Amen."

--lynn (nigeria)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 07:10:06 AM

"How big is your God? We just celebrated 40 yrs. The devil wanted this marriage from the get go. With God ALL things are possible. We had many rough years but now are deeply grateful we didn't give up. All credit, glory and honor go to Jesus Christ. He was the glue that kept us together, we were both guilty and had to allow Him to change us. Trust me, it didn't happen overnight. Stay in the Word, get Biblical counseling. Too many think it's too hard for God. Read Mark 10:27. In fact, start thanking Him for what He CAN do and wants to do. It requires a lot of forgiveness and unconditional love. Don't give up too quickly, your blessing may be right around the next bend."

--Jackie (USA)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 07:03:15 AM

"Eleven years ago, I married a man who is significantly older than I am and while I believed at the time that it was in purpose, today I am not so sure. We have two children, 9 & 6 and right now we are only living in th same house as we do not want to traumatise them with the divorce, but for all intents and purposes, the marriage is over. We both are Catholics so we understand the church's position, I believe there is a very good basis for annulment, but he had one annulment so that we could marry in the church as he converted after we were married. I am assured that God will understand but it's the children who wont and for that reason I stay and try to maintain some degree of civility. Sometimes not divorcing is a way of allowing grace to abound for others."

--Sandra (Jamaica)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 06:55:28 AM

"My daughter married a christian young man. She's 20 and he's 22. My daugthter was previously in a four year relationship with her high school sweet heart and broke up with him. She was on the rebound. This young man seemed to be what she thought God wanted because he claimed to be christian and talked the good talk. Very respectful young man to our face. After a month he wanted to marry out daughter. We asked them to wait a year that is was too soon (even though we liked him). He said no, that he knows this was God's will for him to meet our daughter becauase they have the same faith and that they lvoe each other. We asked them if it was because they had intimate relations and might be pregnant. They assured us and their own pastor that this was not the case. They used the excuse that they wanted his brother (who was heading to Iraq in a month) to be the best man. My daughter ws willing to wait, but was convinced by her boyfriend and his mother to do it immediately. The boy's mother paid for everything. It was a beautiful ceremony. Unbeknownst to me and my husband the whole cause was because the two had slept together and there was a chance she was pregnant. The mother of my daughter's boyfriend wanted to save her son's reputation. Despite our pleading that it was too soon she convinced them both that she would pay for everything just to get them married. The two even had the pastor of the church fooled who married them. They told the Pastor that they were not getting married so soon because they had intimate relations. When the got married in a months time and came back from the honeymoon, my daughter found out she was not pregnant and was upset. She said she was not in love with this man, but was bascially pushed into it by him and his mother and afraid she would have ruined this young man's reputation in church. He served in youth ministries. They both filed for divorce after 10 days of marriage and both signed the papers. It takes 90 days for it to become final. My husband and I have grieved and prayed to God about this. My daughter is actually still in love with her "first" love and only married this boy because she was told by his mother that she should be ashamed and should not ruin her sons reputation. My husband is telling my daughter that she is going to hell because it was blessed before God and under no circumstances should they be divorced. It's actually causing marital problems for my husband and I because I believed all along they should not be married (it was too soon and I knew she loved her high school sweet heart who in fact still loves her). The pastor that married them said that the marriage was not blessed by him or God because they both lied to him and the marriage was based on a lie. My husband is having a hard time with that and trying to control the situation with the two of them. They are both adults. My husband is telling my daughter she is going to hell by divorcing. This man she married wants to be divorced too (he only married her because he thought she was pregnant). My husband is pushing me to go with him to our pastor to meet with "their" pastor and tell him he's wrong. I believe we should leave well enough alone. They are adults and whatever hasty decision was made will be forgiven by God. I need some direction from someone who can give me some definitive answers from the Bible in order to make it clear to my husband or confirm for myself. I know I cannot make two adults do anything they don't want to, but I would like to know for my own peace of mind.

Thank you for any help you can give me.
"

--DJ (USA)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 04:00:34 AM

"Iam a cotholic married but not blessed in church, now i have two kids. My husband has another couple which makes my marriege situation difficult, Our husband has made consideration in regards to housing to the first wife and her kids while me still now staying in my family house, now for three years since my second child pregnancy 2006 he left for work in another province and after my delivery in December 2006 he didn't come to attent and even to see the baby but his R & R am hering about that he spent with the first wife and we are in the same city but he could not visit us. He was sending us some money for food and communicating but now since long he stops and not communicating anymore asking about the kids, so all the responsibility left on me alone. Just a question what would be your adivised should i marry another husband. "

--Gloria(Sudan) (SUDAN -KHARTOUM CITY)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 03:28:32 AM

"I am a catholic married ,now separated to a baptist if you can call him that.. He is 65 but never gone to church in the last 40 years..Our 5 children went to church without him..I do not believe in Divorce so will never seek one though my life would be more comfortable if I did and had support...He is very wealthy ,has a girlfriend and they do not know god...He is first in my life as he should be..so I will likely never remarry as most men want the #1 position ... Thank you and God Bless all of Single with little choice.."

--karina (canada)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:40:20 AM

" there is some reason for devorce,and that would be for adultry, so if one mate is cheating then according to old hebrew laws stoning would've been the act which handle by the tribal elders, however today we call it devorce, and regardless the man is stoned by what he is put threw, even if he isn't the guilty party."

--Lloyd (America)
Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:56:54 AM

"This has helped me to answer a few of my questions regarding this issue. My husband has been lying to me for about 3 years now. Little issues, big issues, it doesn't matter. And he hides things from me. About 6 months ago, right after we paid off all of his previous debt, I found 3 credit cards in his wallet, that I had no idea about. I called for the balances and it was over $2400 on one card alone. This is just one of the many issues that have come up. Alot of the issues are really BIG issues and he won't go there. I have become so hurt that I have built up a wall so I don't let it affect me. I can't even cry anymore. I just get angry. I recently told him that he needed to pack his things and leave and NOW he is finally trying to get help. After all the years of me putting up with this I just don't think that I can take anymore. He lied to me about 3 weeks ago and I left. Then I decided that I woud give him ANOTHER chance, well I just found out 3 days ago, that he was hiding something that was a new issue from me and then I confronted him about it and he lied. I just don't want to keep getting hurt. How much can a person really take. I know that God forgave 70 times 7, but I am not God and I can't continue to set myself up for hurt, and our daughter is getting big enough to understand what is happening. I don't want her to think that it's ok for a man to treat her that way. Please keep the posts coming. They are very helpful and any advice or insight would be great! "

--Ash (USA)
Fri, 30 May 2008 10:21:15 AM

"I have been in a hard time lastly, knowing that my wife cheeted on me. it was the end of it all, all what i belived in , all i worked for , all i lived for... but i did not go to divorce, because i said that if GOD really was GOD, then he will take me throug this, without the help and love of GOD WE JUST CANNOT go through alone.
i am not fully out of it, the pain is still there, and hurts from time to time, but i know that it is better this way, and that GOD will restore whatever went wrong .. trust in the lord always.. again my wife also decided to come back , admited her wrongs and from that one GOD did the rest, it is a long path, but i think it is possible to avoid divorce in many cases..."

--mjomo ()
Fri, 13 Jul 2007 21:37:26 PM