Editor: Richard (Dick) Innes
Published by: ACTS International
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Vol. 10 – No. 3208 August 09, 2008
Thought for the week: "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." – Ronald Reagan
"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women." – Ronald Reagan
"I have never been a millionaire. But I have enjoyed a crackling fire, a glorious sunset, a walk with a friend and a hug from a child. There are plenty of life's tiny delights for all of us." – Jack Anthony
"Until you give yourself to some great cause, you haven't really begun to fully live." – Ray Lammie
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." – Helen Keller
"It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." – Chinese proverb
"Remember, a small light will do a great deal when it is in a very dark place. Put one little tallow candle in the middle of a large hall, and it will give a good deal of light." – Dwight L. Moody
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three tough-looking bikers walked in.
The first walked up to the old man and pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, and then he took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man and spit into the old man's milk, and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man and turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver, either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
In his forthcoming book, Leadership Gold, (Thomas Nelson), John Maxwell writes: "There's a cartoon in which an executive is shown sitting forlornly behind a huge desk. Standing meekly on the other side of the desk is a man dressed in work clothes, who says, 'If it's any comfort to you, it's lonely at the bottom, too.'
"Being at the top doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Neither does being at the bottom. I've met lonely people at the bottom, on the top, and in the middle. I now realize that loneliness is not a positional issue; it's a personality issue."1
Like the trees of the forest,
may you find nourishment
in rain as well as sunshine,
Bend with the winds of misfortune
without breaking;
Give of yourself to others
to provide shade from the blistering heat,
Grow old gracefully and not
become rigid or unbending;
and above all
May you keep reaching ever upwards
towards heaven and to God.
I have often used the phrase "and then some," pointing out to my audiences that you should keep every promise, and then some; give your clients, company or customers everything they expect, and then some; give whatever you do an honest effort, and then some.
I first learned those words from former Secretary of State James Byrnes, who used that phrase when someone asked him to explain his success in life and in the political arena. I believe that little extra effort—that going ahead from where they are to do the best they can with what they have, and then some—is what separates the successful from the would-be successful.
Zig Ziglar, Speaker, Author. Source: Thought for Today, Ray Lammie. To subscribe send a blank email to RIL3@aol.com with Subscribe in the Subject line.
No matter what Gary did, it was never enough to please his father. When he got seven A's and three B's, his dad asked about the B's. When Gary told him about a wonderful girl he'd fallen in love with, he got a lecture cautioning that she may turn out to be different than he thought.
Gary's dad was stunned and hurt when Gary took a job in another town. He tried to talk him out of it, explaining the advantages of being close to family and the pitfalls of moving.
Finally, Gary exploded. "Dad, I'm moving to get away from you! I love you, but I can't stand the way you tear down everything I do."
He braced himself for a counterattack, but for the first time in his life he saw his father's mask of confidence dissolve into vulnerability. "All I ever wanted to do was make you better and help you reach your potential and avoid risks," his dad stammered with tears in his eyes. "It's what I do. It's why my business has been so successful. Do you want me to ignore my experience and just be a cheerleader?"
"Dad," Gary replied, "our relationship isn't about productivity. You're my dad. Sometimes I need praise more than I need a push, and approval more than I need advice. Constantly trying to make me better just makes me feel worse. It's not enough that you love me. I need you to appreciate me."
It's an important lesson. In personal relationships, there may be benefits to the relentless pursuit of better, but the cost may be too high.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Jim was standing in line at the supermarket checkout when, to his amazement, in charged an angry, aggressive man, with his browbeaten wife in tow, pushing in line ahead of Jim and several other customers. With a forty pound (twenty-kilogram) sack of flour slung over his shoulder. Handing his wife some money, he growled: "Here, you pay for the stuff." He then proceeded to stomp off with his bag of flour.
Unknown to him, there was a hole in the back of the flour bag. As he stormed out of the supermarket, he left behind a trail of white flour all the way to his car. As Jim walked out of the store, he noticed that the angry man had just discovered his now half-empty sack of flour. Poetic justice, one might suggest!
What makes people like this man so obnoxious? Among other possibilities, he undoubtedly has a very poor self-image. The bottom line is that these people don't feel loved. That's why his wife was such a wimp, too. People who strongly dislike themselves tend to either become weak, passive and over-compliant and withdraw, or project their self-hatred onto the people around them by being aggressive and bullying. Because they don't like themselves, they believe others don't like them either and set themselves up to be rejected.
To overcome a poor self-image and the lack of a healthy sense of self-acceptance doesn't happen overnight. It takes time, commitment, and risk taking.
More often than not, insecurity and a poor self-image has its roots in early childhood where one didn't receive or feel that he received unconditional love. But here's the challenge: What we didn't receive in childhood we need to receive now.
And how do we do that? It's simple but not easy. It's based on a biblical principle in that, "We love God because He first loved us." In other words (spiritually speaking) we learned to love God through his love for us in that he knows us fully—warts and all—and loves us regardless ... unconditionally.
The same principle applies emotionally. To truly love others we need to be first loved by at least one safe, understanding, and non-judgmental person. To be loved by that person we need to be fully known by him or her—warts and all—and knowing us as we truly are, they love us unconditionally anyhow. It is through their unconditional love for us that we learn (in time) to love and accept ourselves in a healthy way.
Like I said, it is simple but not easy in that it can be very scary because we fear that if we are fully known for whom we really are, we may not be liked, and then rejected. However, it is only as we take the risk and step out of our comfort zone that we have any chance of learning how to fully love and accept ourselves in a healthy way. The more we do this, the more we will improve our self-image, and consequently, the less we will get our feelings hurt and the easier it will be to deal with whatever setbacks come our way. We may still get our feelings hurt, but we won't be devastated.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, I thank you that you know me fully as I am and love me unconditionally. Please help me to find a safe person to whom I can become fully known and loved, and learn to love and accept myself in the same way that you love and accept me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
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Oprah Winfrey: "Books were my pass to personal freedom. I learned to read at age three, and soon discovered there was a whole world to conquer that went beyond our farm in Mississippi." – Oprah Winfrey
Books:
Books by Dick Innes, Editor of Weekend Encounter You Can't Fly With a Broken Wing How to Mend a Broken Heart I Hate Witnessing—A Handbook for Effective Christian
Communications
Books by Bestseller and Popular Authors: The Miracle of Kindness His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
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Loving & Understanding People by Dick Innes
I Hate Witnessing by Dick Innes
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