Before he met Esther, King Xerxes was married to Queen Vashti. One night, during a long party for his men, the king sent an order to Queen Vashti to make an appearance at the party, apparently so he could impress his guests with her beauty. The Queen refused to go and this highly angered the King, resulting in immediate divorce. This might have been avoided if the royal couple had practiced healthy communication. Instead, this defining moment was shattered. King Xerxes was given another opportunity to learn effective communication when he married Esther.

The King had been persuaded to order the annihilation of all the Jews, unbeknownst to him that his new bride was a Jew. When Esther heard of the King’s decree, she knew she needed to speak with her husband. Unfortunately, royal law stated that no one, not even the Queen, could approach the King without being summoned. Regardless, Esther decided to make the first move in order to plan some quality time with her husband, the King. Upon seeing her, his heart was softened toward her and she was able to open the communication between them.

So she put on his favorite dress, prepared a special dinner for him, and served his favorite drink. She made every effort to set the mood for an effective conversation. By spending an enjoyable evening with him, Esther was establishing intimacy in their relationship. After a couple more similar nights, the King was ready to listen to whatever Esther needed to say. Upon hearing Esther’s plea, the King had a decision to make. His best friend, and right-hand man, had been the one to convince the King that the Jews were a threat to his kingdom. This was a defining moment in his marriage and he had to make a choice. Fortunately, the King had heard his wife’s heart and stood by her against his “friend�. Together, they turned what could have been a horrific event into a defining moment in their marriage.

This is such a relatable story. Communication is still one of the greatest challenges couples face today. Even though we can now speak freely to each other, too many times we don’t and the moments that define our marriage are more bad than good. However, there is hope! Esther prayed for three days before acting and the Lord blessed her actions. I encourage you, once again, to pray for your partner! Allow God to prepare the heart of your spouse. Be intentional in creating defining moments in your marriage that will last a lifetime.

Suggested Prayer: Thank you, God, for these stories in your Word that you intended to be a guide for our lives. Be at the center of my marriage and allow each moment to be defined by you and that your love in our hearts pour out into each other. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

1. Ecclesiastes 4:11-12 (ESV).

Today’s Encounter was written by: Veronica B.