Unfortunately, learning how to take full responsibility for my reactions was something I did not do well until I was older, which is why I have made it part of my parenting style. When you learn to manage your emotions and take responsibility for your actions AND reactions, it can improve your relationships. Having four children between the ages of two and fifteen, I find myself having many conversations about this. Anytime I hear, “You make me so mad” or “You are annoying me”, that is usually my cue to step in. No matter how bothersome someone’s behavior may be, we are in control of our emotions and reactions. I cannot control what the other person does all the time, but I can most certainly control how I react to it and what actions I take next. Using sentences like “I feel upset” instead of “you make me mad”, puts things in order and reminds us that we are responsible for ourselves, not others.

Blaming others for how we feel is easy to do. There may be times when the other person is indeed at fault, but even then there are steps to take to right the wrong (Matthew 18:15-17). However, if we make blaming others a habit instead of taking responsibility for the part we play, it can be detrimental to our spiritual growth. The closer we get to Jesus, the more the fruits of the Holy Spirit will shine through us… including patience, kindness, and self-control. Spiritual maturity is achieved through us becoming more like Christ. Blaming others will only stunt our growth. Taking personal responsibility for our lives gives us the opportunity to learn from our mistakes, persevere, pray for others, and live in harmony with the will of God to produce the character of Jesus in our lives.

Suggested prayer: Lord, show me the areas in my life where I need to take responsibility and stop blaming others. When I stand before you one day, I will not give an account of anyone but myself. Please help my actions and reactions imitate Jesus in every situation. In the name of Jesus I pray, amen.

1.    Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT).

Today’s Encounter was written by: Crystal B.